Boonville, Day 20

Susan Sontag, Copyright Peter Hujar, 1975

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...Or "Hell Week" as I am calling it.

I am leaving Boonville, Missouri for Boonville, North Carolina on Monday, August, 27th. I have spent the last two days taking it easy and hiding out at my new home in the country. The next week will be filled with early mornings and late nights, with scheduled portraits or meetings in-between. Yesterday, because I simply needed a break before the big push, I tried my hardest not to leave the house...

...I've been running around the last few weeks trying to find my focus and it's been harder then I originally anticipated. Although I have come along way from having my micro-meltdown (thank you to my close friends--here and afar--for helping me through it), I am still trying to figure things out. So rather then forcing it to happen and struggling, I decided to take Sunday off. I was doing some relaxing, thinking and reading--for all of five minutes, then I started to freak out again. I quickly shut down and forced my way into Susan Sontag's, Regarding The Pain Of Others. Susan Sontag is most famous for being a writer and an activist but she was also a great admirer and critic of photography and art. Regarding the Pain of Others is a post-911 monograph about photography and the media in wartime. She's fantastic and she saved my head from exploding for an hour or so, at least. I then put a brainless movie in and after...I couldn't help it...I went out. The clouds were beautiful and I was a bit inspired. So I went out for a half-hour, except it ended up being three hours. I had a nice and relaxing time; I found some great spots I hadn't seen yet and watched the sunset over a soy-bean field (and cell phone tower).

A special note: On that outing I shot my one-hundredth sheet of film!